Knowing How
by calma-llama
Summary: Rin seeks advice from his sister after strange feelings for Haruka begin to arise.


He wasn't exactly too sure when it started happening.

Okay, no, that was a lie. Of course he _knew_ when it started happening. Ever since they were kids, he had harbored feelings for him. But, it was about a week ago, right after Rin had found himself spending two hours with Haruka, challenging each other to multiple freestyle races. They walked home together and the redhead couldn't help but stare at the ravenette the entire time. He noticed the way the stars reflected in those beautiful eyes of his, the ones that caused Rin to gasp slightly every single time he inhaled, and the way his lips held themselves in a straight line. He couldn't help himself when he leaned over and kissed his long time friend and rival on his lips.

In the past four days he had kissed him four more times, each day growing more and more bold, until just the other night. He had Haruka pinned against the wall, his usually blank stare transformed into a challenging glare as he offered himself, completely ready to be taken. And yet Rin could not bring himself to take him up on that offer. They were friends, maybe even more than that at this point, but he wouldn't allow himself to take advantage of him. Taking his virginity was out of the question for fuck's sake, especially while they were probably just on a hormonal high and potentially not thinking straight.

Fuck. Just fucking fantastic, Matsuoka...Lusting after your childhood friends, aren't you?

He scolded himself silently.

He stopped what he was doing, which wasn't much other than swimming some laps, and thought about what _exactly_ it was he was feeling. He wasn't sure when it became something more than just liking the unresponsive swim addict and enjoying the way he looked over him with those eyes, with that stupid mouth of his that always seemed to be set in an emotionless line hanging open just slightly, a groan of _Rin _or some sort of muffled whimper falling from his soft lips. He couldn't exactly pinpoint when it was that the extensive tugging he felt in his chest wasn't out of annoyance or aggravation, but rather out of something completely foreign to him, something he couldn't quite grasp, let alone understand.

Something called _love_.

"Gou."

His sister was out cold, face pressed awkwardly into the folds of her arms, still dressed in her pink pajamas with her red hair tied up, resting on a clutter of unfinished math homework, magazines and roughly drawn out plans for the swim team spread out across her desk.

"Gou." He tried again, his patience far beyond tested, but the incoherent mumblings coming from the red haired teen's lips, no doubt about the dreamy muscles she couldn't help her mind from wandering to, lets the boy know that she was definitely out for the count. He shakes her shoulder gently and when that doesn't work, he tries prodding her with his boot, kicking at her like a lifeless corpse until he grows tired of that as well.

"Wake up, Gou!"

"Hm, what?!" Gou bolted upright, nearly falling backwards in her chair, but Rin is quicker and catches it before she topples backwards.

"Fucking incredible. I wish I could sleep like the goddamn dead whenever I felt like it."

"Are you annoying me for a reason or are you just in your typical, pissy mood?" She questioned, wiping away the drool that had gathered at the corner of her lips and glancing over to her older brother. "Because, if it's the second one, I have much better things to do than to deal with your attitude today."

"Yeah, like fantasizing about guys' muscles." The look he was giving her would have turned anyone else's blood to ice in their veins within a matter of moments, but after living with him all her life, she had adjusted to his outbursts a long time ago. She motions toward he older brother, as if to say _what is it?_

"I need advice."

Gou narrowed her amber eyes at her him in question, a knowing smirk creeping across her face until she was bouncing up and down in her seat, grabbing him by the arm and forcing him down in a chair directly across from her before he could even consider objecting.

"Alright, what is it you want to know about Haruka, hm?"

A little known fact...Rin Matsuoka _never_ blushes. Not in a million years, not _ever_ and definitely not _now_. His face was just incredibly warm. From all that swimming, jogging and working out he'd been doing earlier. Yeah, besides...It was hot as hell in there for shit's sake.

"What?! How do you know it's about that unresponsive swim fanatic and not about something, you know, important?" Rin defends on instinct, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring daggers at his sister.

Well, that didn't help his case at all.

Gou just shrugged in response. "It was pretty obvious. And, there's only two things I know for a fact that Rin Matsuoka knows nothing about. One, knowing how to lose. Two, knowing how to understand love." She beamed in reply.

So, maybe he sat there gawking at her, because sometimes he forgets just how freakishly smart his sister was capable of being because, in all seriousness, it border lined being a psychic sometimes. In return, Rin just tightens his fists, as if her words were so terribly offensive that he has to keep his distance from the girl.

"Since we all know you're never going to get used to losing ever, the only answer left is option two. Not that your staring and closeness with Haruka wasn't obvious enough. So, now it just comes down to what it is you want to know, well, specifically. If you want to know how to ask him on a date, I have this magazine over here-"

"Gou-"

"-that will probably answer any of your questions-"

"Gou, sit the fuck down for a minute and shut up."

She rolled her eyes and did as she was told.

"I'm in love with Haru and I don't have the slightest idea of what to do about it. He's been my rival, my _friend_, for the longest time and I'm not sure if he's ready to take that a step further. But, somewhere along the lines it's turned from me wanting to beat him at every single thing possible, to wanting to...Well..."

Gou's face lit up like a firecracker and she let out a mess of giggles, unable to contain herself. Next to her, Rin deadpanned, shaking his head.

"Just tell him how you feel. It's pretty simple actually and you need to stop overthinking it. Just walk up to him, tell him how you feel and then kiss him. That's all there is to it."

"You've got to be shitting me."

"I'm not! I'm just offering what I think is best, all joking aside."

Rin fidgeted with the zipper of his hoodie, distracting himself from the various ways his sister was now going on about confessing his love, but really, he didn't want to just come out and say it. I wasn't even sure if that's what he _truly _felt.

He just knew that if anything were to happen to Haruka, if he were to lose him suddenly like what happened to his father, he wouldn't be able to cope. Not like he was able to cope the pain left behind by his father's death. The only thing that made those feelings easier to endure was having his friends to keep him moving forward, towards achieving his dreams. Especially Haruka. Rin had always strived to be better than him and really, that helped him stay connected with his lost father. That must have been where these feelings were coming from.

Gou was still talking when Rin managed to pull himself back to reality and got up wordlessly, leaving his sister there to finish her homework and stare after him.

"Good luck, Onii-chan!" She called after him and he sighed.

Sometimes, he felt like a creep when he came into Haruka's house late at night. Well, it wasn't his fault that the ravenette left the door unlocked. Often times, when Rin himself could not sleep, he would find himself outside his friend's house, imagining what he was doing other than sitting in the bath tub dozing off of course. Maybe he was sleeping, incoherent words slipping past his lips, and the redhead had lost count how many times he wanted to walk straight into his bedroom, sliding into bed beside his long time rival and fall asleep, right then and there.

Tonight, perhaps, he would do just that.

He was quick to step into his room when there was no sign of him in the bathroom, shutting it quietly behind him and watching the features of his friend's face change from moments of peace with his usual, unimpressed expression, to a rare twitching at the corner of his mouth, hinting at a smile. Rin could swear his heart was beating a mile a minute and he couldn't help but grin.

"Haru, wake up." He murmured gently, surprising even himself with the tone, wiping back his silky black hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead. He shook Haruka slightly and when the teen finally began to open his eyes, those same blue eyes that tore down a small piece of Rin's purposely placed walls every time he met them fixated on him, he blinked in confusion up at his friend.

"What are you doing here?" Haruka questioned, obviously disoriented. Rin had to hide the smile on his face.

"I was in the area and thought you were awake." He lied simply.

Apparently, it was enough to convince the tired teen as he shrugged in response. He sat up, rubbing at his eyes with that blank appearance. Already Rin was missing that attempt at a smile Haruka had while he was dozing off.

"Well, I want to go to bed, so what is it?"

"I-I...Um, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What is it?" He repeated.

There was a pause between them, but thankfully Haruka was tired and still a little out of it which made it less awkward.

"Can I tell you something, Haru?"

"What?"

Rin stood back up and without a pause, placed his hands on Haruka's shoulders, looking him straight in his eyes, hoping that the intensity would provide enough of what he was trying to say without him actually having to say it.

"Haru, I like you, okay? ...Maybe even a little more than that."

It didn't take long for Haruka to understand what he was saying and without missing a beat, got up out of bed, hair unkempt and all, that stupid half grin attempting to make an appearance on that stupid attractive face of his that Rin was starting to like more and more, and closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to Rin's with such force behind it that it caused the taller teen to stumble backwards into the wall. A suddenly awake Haruka pressed him further against the cold walls.

Rin guessed that meant he liked him too, considering he was making time between sleeping and swimming just for him.


End file.
